Merry?? Christmas! HAPPY New Year!

Christmas was difficult for me this year.  Within 6 months time, I lost my paternal grandma (Gaga), had a baby, lost my great-uncle (Dennis) that lived next door my whole life, found out my pharmacy was closing,lost my maternal grandpa (Papa), and began opening a new employee pharmacy.  When I reflect on 2011, all that I can think of is the word CHANGE.  Life has obviously changed drastically when you think of all of the examples above.  I don't like change.  Change is difficult for me.  But at the same time I have a lot of respect for change.  Change can make you grow as a person.  Change is just a part of life.

I wanted to be so happy this Christmas.  I have a 3 year old who was a lot of fun and it was my 7 month old's 1st Christmas.  Normally I buy gifts throughout the year but just could not get started early this time.  I literally dreaded the holidays because with the holidays came the noticeable changes to my family.  3 influential people were going to be missing this year.  And my job was at an all time high stress level with me working way too much.

First, I started making my Christmas list and accidentally wrote down Papa's name.  Then I found grandparent picture frames I had bought ahead of time with the intention of giving them to the great-grandparents with the boys' picture.  Next our traditional breakfast got changed which made me feel the missing pieces that much more.  One Sunday I witnessed several people walking out to graves at the cemetary after church and I just couldn't hold it any longer.  I had a good cry right there in the car in front of the boys and all.  Finally, on Christmas day we celebrated at Aunt Joan's and obviously Dennis' presence was greatly missed.  I especially missed seeing him in the kitchen spicing up some of the ham (even though he didn't get to do it last Christmas while he was sick either).  And oh how I wish Papa could see the kids riding their jeep!

I know all Christmas's won't always be this tough on me but I do know that I will always miss with fond memories my Papa Cliff and Mama Cat, GaGa, and Uncle Dennis.  It hurts the most that my children won't have the memories with these special people that meant so much to me.  However, new traditions will take the place of old ones.  For example, this Christmas my parents and Jeremy's parents made it over for breakfast.  This made me so happy as growing up both sets of grandparents always came to my parents for breakfast.  I hope this will be a new tradition for my boys!

I'd like to say goodbye to 2011, which to our family will always be a memorable but tough year. Through every change God was and is still with us every step of the way.  There have been many blessings through the tears and with each blessing I feel God's presence and know his handprint is all over it.

We are beyond blessed with 2 healthy boys!  I pray 2012 will be a great year and that we will continue making wonderful memories together!  Bring on 2012!!

 Ava-Reese (2), Riley (3), Reid (almost 8 months)



Riley and Reid in the new jeep...Made sure Daddy held onto Reid in case Riley decided to suddenly hit the gas!